Monday, December 6, 2010

Coping

The silence yells that you've died
all the tears I'm dying to hide
working so hard to paint over your memory
swallow them down to the pit of my belly
they fester and rot, I'm feeling so empty
Weak and so heavy my eyes they will fall
washing my smile, I must build a wall
paint it with colors that shine like the sun
plant little flowers at the foot of my run
lift my head high and work on my soul
live day by day until heaven I go.
©Elizabeth Zsamboki
Running fast through the pages of my thoughts
Gasping for air the moment I remember to breath.
Continued pacing, pushing, searching
for the strength to live my dreams
©Elizabeth Zsamboki
The volume and music of your voice is FADING fast
cupping my ears to make them LAST
the rhythm is SLOWING to a steady beat
the color of your words are NO LONGER sweet
RELEASING in memory, CASTING from my eyes
LANDING in my hands, SLIPPING past my fingers
fighting to GRASP a beauty that's now my past
©Elizabeth Zsamboki
The world is moving fast outside my reach
It's numbed my speech
Holding the air inside my lungs
feelings inside pull and tug
festering fermenting on my tongue
until I've swallowed the bitter blood
©Elizabeth Zsamboki
I saw a familiar face today
one I've loved for more than time to say
I've traced it with my fingers and kissed it more than once
Sadly, the beat that moves my heart
didn't skip or change to make up for our part
©Elizabeth Zsamboki
I saw it coming from afar
my muffled scream yelled "you'll scar"
continued on her journey hope solely in a sack
my premonition couldn’t bring her back
I saw the flames of her future
her smile only now a picture
knowing her tears hadn't left
still drying from where she'd just slept
what would put the fire out?
I knew she'd burn without a doubt
she arrived and touched the flame
danced and bathed, only herself to blame
I watched it burn and fade her skin
revealing a thicker shell from within
tears she shed streamed her soul
she carried him from the smoke below
© Elizabeth Zsamboki

Monday, November 15, 2010

On Loan

I've always only ever had you for a moment.

Long enough for you to hold me, warm me, kiss me.

Deep enough to get lost.

Sustained enough for it to take longer to find my way back, return, or exceed to when my eyes are dry and my thoughts are mine.

©Elizabeth Zsamboki

Henceforth

I persist my life at thirty and a half
wise and ready to take what's next at hand
my feet are strong but my heart is weak
my soul is hungry but my mind will speak
I will fly, land, and feed
alone and free, I'll take what I need
no longer can I, will I, should I bleed
My soul, my heart, I will lead
God will guide the stones that slow my speed.
©Elizabeth Zsamboki

Longing Disillusion

Dreading the heavy sand on my eyelids
fear of not controlling my dreams to only imagine you
apprehension of the truth that scolds from my subconscious
warnings that I am able to ignore when my eyes are open and thoughts are mine.
evidence the window of truth can trick one's mind…
as I'm sure I kissed you last night while my eyes were closed and the moon was high.
yet I have no memory of ever landing on a pillow,
and THAT morning…certain I swept my eyes.
©Elizabeth Zsamboki

Unreachable

I believe in destiny, so I'd like to send a message and place it in the sea
If it reached you, then I'd know that You and I were meant to be.
How long must I wait for destiny to deliver a bottle of hope…
if you never walk along the shore?
©Elizabeth Zsamboki

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Motivation

My heart and soul move my feet, my speech, my dreams…
when they are dark, they kill my speed, stop my beat, flood my eyes, drain my spirit, and drown my light…
Curse of a hapless romantic with an absent prince charming.
Jokeless horses drift on a cloud returning in the morning as dew on the leaves…
in the fall, turn brown, drop, crumble into dust, blow away in the winter's wind…
Frostbitten fingers unable to gather, hold, grip what floats in the midst's.
Unrecognizable pieces lay desolate on the ground…
Easier to allow the elements to bury them deep within the earth.
Attempts to rekindle what has already been lost and now belonging to the wind
IS exhausting, unredeemable, and pretentious
to believe that one is more worthy and powerful than fait, destiny, and God himself
for he controls the horses, dew, leaves, and wind.
I control my heart, my spirit, my light, my love.
©Elizabeth Zsamboki

Untitled

Familiar rhythm from my heart knocking at the palm of his hand
revealing secrets years I've kept sacred in my heart.
unreturned understanding, meaning, and feeling
transcended from his words, landing drops of spit like acid on my cheeks
revealing secrets he's kept clever in his silence,changing my rhythm to a slower beat
proverbial enigmas sifting in my mind knocking at the walls of my lips
lacking courage, faith, and ability to translate why his hand I took that night
swallowing words like knives, a fire landing in my belly, blanketing the light of my spirit.
asking God to send the rain and drown the flames that are transforming my love into ash.
©Elizabeth Zsamboki

Friday, October 29, 2010

Physicality

Unrealistic attempt to change my dimensions
the form of my thighs and chest
the radiance in my smile and eyes
vividly imagining a physical transformation to match the one that feeds your preference
what would be left of ME if all of ME I altered
I'd wear a mask for just a chance to show you the brilliance of my essence.
my eternal capacity to love
my heart, soul, and passion is all that truly matters
in the end her beauty dies…will her love be first or after?
©Elizabeth Zsamboki

Frozen

Frozen in one particular moment in time
paralyzed
motionless
eyelashes glued to the tops of my cheeks
blind
sightless
visionless
unfocused on what's moving dashing forward
my feet are planted in grass
only in this very particular moment in time seems greener
the moon is smiling in my eyes
my arms are warm as my teeth chatter
as though competing with the pounding of my heart
my hand is gripping leaving room for interlacing fingers
that are no longer there…
my breath paused at an inhale, holding the cool crisp October air
as if competing with the beat of my heart
at the end of this one particular moment in time…has stopped.
©Elizabeth Zsamboki

vigor

I want to be the healer of your shattered heart
hand it over, place it in the palms of my hands that will not part.
allow me to put it back together with my gentle touch
glue it with my laughter, tenderness, and endless ability to clutch
I crave to rupture your lips of silence and inhale the pain from every tragic lesion
fill my lungs until they lead me to the dreadful reasons
Do not fear my explosive passion or constant need to make you feel alive.
DROWN! your frightful need for help to stay afloat, move, and survive
The habitualness of where you dwell is not a place to sleep, be, or need.
Take my hand and let me lead
guide you to a place where, the sun is warm, the moon is smiling, and the stars are bright.
I want to be the strength behind your fight.
©Elizabeth Zsamboki

all the pretty horses

Have all the horses turned dark or developed spots of black
during my sleep of seven years
the world has flipped so drastic
a red rose on the first date no longer grows
a pack of Trojans tramples in its garden
a first kiss is meshed together with a monthly scare of skip.
© Elizabeth Zsamboki

Some Time Ago

Your words retraced the scratch you carved on my heart…some time ago
Revealing my unfortunate job of stitching the gash you loved repeating… some time ago
I felt the sting from the wound underneath my shirt
Believing it had healed into a scratch…some time ago
your voice, your face, your touch picked at the scab that developed…some time ago
I felt the burn from the abrasion underneath my shirt
Blood flowing as old memories, feelings, and fears
Draining my strength to cover your mouth and not allow them to replay.
recur the pain that left me crying on the floor in a pool of my own pain…some time ago
realization has submerged from underneath the blur of my tears…seconds ago
resurrecting a truth I'd buried, masked, lost within the stitching…some time ago
revealing self inflictions for tempting you to repeat
bittersweet candor glistened in the air.
I filled my lungs as though depriving them of breath ever since…some time ago.
the power to stop replaying, retracing, and holding, exploded through my fingertips
Finally…allowing me…after some time …to let go as I did…some time ago.
© Elizabeth Zsamboki

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Coffee

I love coffee but I no longer take it sweet
Convincing myself the bitterness is now a treat
the white crystals coat the black liquid
changing the authenticity as though its meek
An empty sugar bowl scraping at the edges
for every last piece to cut my craving's wedges
a sugar rush never lasts too long
the flurry is often quickly gone
bringing me crashing feeling tired and hungry
craving cookies and candy
I love coffee but it no longer sits in my cup
convincing myself the emptiness is now a treat
and the black liquid only feeds the weak.
© Elizabeth Dominguez

Words

Words so easily pressed from the lips
actions never easy to exist
the mind creates beauty that the body cannot pertain
why spill the verbiage if the body cannot sustain
love is what moves,pulls,climbs, and never refrains
passion is what collides,delights,and stains
words can sing,play,and rain,but cannot be contained
A promise when told and never fulfilled cuts deep and bleeds
a stitch will always remain but words will not retain
© Elizabeth Dominguez

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Hiccup

My words came out like an unexpected hiccup
your reaction I couldn't see
but something tells me my terms you didn't need
I'd like to take them back and save them for a time
a moment more appropriate for words like mine
now I've spent them I'll never get them back
If you had reacted
responded
given back
a hiccup of a similar phrase
I'd feel much better these days
© Elizabeth Zsamboki

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The World of Make-Believe

he found her on the ground low, broken, and afraid
he lifted her with his words and carried her in his embrace
he took her to the very stars she'd wished upon and showed her all her dreams
he repainted all her beauty that had withered in the salt
he carved her a brand new heart with the tools of his promises
he mended her soul with the rhythm of his body
the moment that her wings revealed the secrets of her feelings
he clipped them with the coldness in his eyes, his hands, his breath
he watched as she fell from the very stars that held her dreams
the vigilance of her amazing intuition decelerated her plummet
gracefully landing on two feet audaciously looking toward the sky
just another journey back from the world of make-believe
© Elizabeth Dominguez
My mouth is dry
My lips are cracked
My eyes are flooded
My cheeks are wet
My hands are naked
My hair is still
My back is cold
My feet are dangling
My words are heavy
My spirit is grey
My heart is empty
My soul is searching
I am dreaming
I am believing
I am striving
I am building
I am freeing
I am talking
I am giving
I am taking
I am living
I am growing
I am free
I am me
Elizabeth Dominguez

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Protection

I removed my protective coat
Its fabric weighted me down
Held me from believing that I’d ever be free
unbound to live breath and see
View the world that lived outside of where I’d always be
The moment the clouds uncovered the sun
I drank the power of its rays
The strength ran through my veins
It tossed the garment with no refrain
Revealing my naked vulnerability
The warmth of the sun fed my soul
Gave me visions of my dreams
Filled my heart with comfort and ease
I felt the chill upon my back
Trying to ignore its painful tower
A drop of rain I felt it too
The clouds began to cool
The rays were now so few
No longer does the sun illuminate for me
My protective coat has lost its seam
Standing naked revealing the scars
Etched by heat from the yellow star
Elizabeth

Saturday, May 29, 2010

In The Middle

In the middle
The road split before her eyes
Afraid of leading in demise
Stuck in the middle…not knowing for how long
Listening to her own song
To the left
Wildflowers’ and berries grew alongside a foggy path
Butterflies fluttered in a wrath
Music spun bittersweet notes of freedom
Singing a song of newfound wisdom
To the right
Perfectly cut stone paved the way
Sidewalks and streetlamps lit up like day
Music played but not her taste
The smell of ammonia moved alongside the heaves
Its vapor has withered the leaves
In the end
Her song will play the loudest
Her smile will stretch the longest
Her heart will beat the strongest
Her love will be the truest
Her soul will be the fullest

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Clasping

Oh God please tell me you’re invested
That the words you’ve said are trusted
And the light in your eyes was not reflecting
Transmitting MY glow when they found me smiling
Show me the life I’ve diluted was not in vain
Authenticate that your feelings will remain
For when I heard your empty voice
My heart whispered “so wrong your choice”
Your inconsistent frame of mind
Is demanding my feelings to run and hide
My skin is parched for an embrace
Don’t let this chance fall from grace
If my grip for you I ease
Never again will you touch my sleeve
(c) Elizabeth

Salvation

As the venom poured out of my mouth
I watched its fumes enter your body
I watched it reach your heart
It covered your soul and stole your strength
Your body quivered from the sudden attack
The guilt exploded in my heart
Releasing through my eyes
Guilty for my weary heart couldn't ingest the poison
Guilty for choosing to save
My drowning soul
My rusting heart
My dying life
Where were you when I
Screamed, cried, begged and pleaded
As my smile
My light
My love
Quickly faded?

Consequence

Stepping on the world below
As my fingertips reach for
the warmth
The light
The life
Of the sun
Hungrily needing to feed my soul
Desperately wanting to melt the ice that shields my heart
Selfishly fighting to fulfill my desires
Crushing my world with the weight of my dreams
Blinding them with the dirt from my feet
Marking them with the negligence of my steps
As the sun moves further and further out of reach
I grow tired of
Dreaming
Hoping
Believing
That the sun will meet my needs

© Elizabeth